It’s been a rough year for all of us, and as we head into what used to be the holiday season for most of us, I’m sending a wish list from the upside down.
1. Please resign.
I know you really thought you wanted to be president, but do you honestly think it has worked out? You’re on the edge of impeachment, and your precious Ivanka and Jared (He’s her husband in case you don’t remember.) may not be around to advise you much because they have to fight this lawsuit over those alleged omissions on their financial disclosure forms.
You, your family, and your entire administration have become such a distraction to the country, and the rest of us all really have a lot of work to get done. For example, in case you’re wondering, we need to pick up our fight against climate change (Did you see that horrific photo of the starving polar bear? Your advisors said it was fake news? Sean Spicer in a bear suit? No, it was real! And sad!)
And there’s that CHIP thing. No, not a remake of the TV show. THE CHILDREN’S HEALTH INSURANCE PROGRAM. Not for all children, 45. It’s basically for children in families between Medicaid and other insurance plans. They are not safe, like Ivanka, Baron, Donald Jr., Tiffany, Eric, and Melania. Oops, sorry. Melania’s your wife, of course!
Then of course there’s the tax bill. DO NOT SIGN IT. And not because of that nonsense you’ve been spouting off on about it hurting you because you’re a billionaire. I’m pretty sure you’re still a billionaire, and no, I still haven’t seen your tax returns, but I do listen to NPR, and I know how your businesses are run. No, I won’t explain it to you here, but as written, you and your 1% buddies will be writing everything off under this plan. But my advice is, don’t sign it because it will hurt EVERYONE ELSE, and you just might develop a conscience before you get released from prison.
2. Please take your entire government with you.
This is really a no-brainer. I know this might make you jealous, but a lot of people fear Mike Pence more than they do you. Really! They think he’s smarter! So, you might just want to take him along.
And Betsy, too. She needs a break. All this pretending that she knows what the hell she’s talking about has taken its toll on her, and the rollback on Title IX protections is basically . . . inhumane.
And Zinke, just let that fool ride out on the horse he came in on right into prison. Oh, yeah, you are right, he could just hire a private plane, but no way the soon-to-be-extra-overly-taxed taxpayers would pay for that. No, I would not let him into your prison. I suspect he might have a shiv designed as a horseshoe or something.
Also, but not lastly, because you really just need to get rid of all of them, but Ajit Pai needs to go. First, he’s not funny. Second, there’s net neutrality thing. You still don’t understand what net neutrality is? It’s a big brother kind of thing. Not like Donald Jr. and Eric. More like one ISP not being able to dominate another, as in:
Net Neutrality: the principle that Internet service providers should enable access to all content and applications regardless of the source, and without favoring or blocking particular products or websites.
Take a listen to one of these if you still don’t get it.
3. Please own up to and apologize for instances of sexual harassment for which you are guilty, and if any criminal liability is involved, add that to whatever jail time you may end up serving. (Sorry for that long sentence, 45!)
The world has changed, and while it was never acceptable for a man to lay hands on a woman (or girl) against her will, women are no longer silent about these assaults.
You were still elected despite that Access Hollywood report, you say? I realize this, and the knowledge of that report is one reason, along with all the other cases of sexual harassment and assault that have come to light this year, that the word complicit was selected as word of the year for 2017 by Dictionary.com. We are all complicit when we knew of these things and didn’t do more to prevent your election. I know 45. We should have done more.
You couldn’t have assaulted Jessica Leeds because the armrest didn’t go up, you say? Oh, 45, that armrest argument has already been debunked.
Even you must admit that Katrina Pierson wasn’t that convincing, don’t you? Don’t you?
What Christmas is like in the upside down
Although I am hoping that your resignation, removal of your cabinet, and all appointees will cover most of the post-Obama damage done to the country, there are a few other issues that I’d like seen resolved for Christmas.
You see, in the world that has turned upside down since your election and sorry excuse for an inauguration, I and many others suffer from a kind of . . . malaise. (That’s a French word commonly used by a lot of English speakers to mean “illness” or “disorder.”) I think many of us are experiencing a kind of adjustment disorder. It’s like when a loved one dies, or you get divorced, or lose a job, that kind of thing. Did you experience that with any of your divorces or bankruptcies?
Anyway, due to this malaise or disorder, or whatever we call it, and despite the actual effort so many of us put into marches, phone calls and texts to our senators, petitions we start and sign, etc., many of us are just not feeling the Christmas spirit (Oh, sorry for another long sentence, 45! Did you get it?). I guess Melania wasn’t feeling the spirit either, with that Goth White House décor and all that, huh?
So, I’ve told my kids no gifts this year (really), and the only thing I’ve done so far is bought some toys to donate to the homeless shelter because why should they suffer any more than they already have? Did you know that, according to the Coalition for the Homeless, there are over 62,000 homeless people, including 15,689 families with 23,707 homeless children sleeping in our New York City shelters each night?
Research shows the primary cause of homelessness, particularly among families, is lack of affordable housing.
You used to know something about real estate, right? Couldn’t you do something about any of this before you head off to Mirror Largess for the holidays?
If you could just consider my list above, maybe Christmas could turn right-side up again! And even though I did not specifically ask for the following items in my wish list, if you complied (Get it, 45: “complicit”/” complied”?) with the wish list, I think these related things would fall into place as well!
Develop a truly universal health care plan that builds on rather than dismantles the ACA.
Return reproductive rights to women without fear of injury to self or child, life-long health issues, and loss of personal freedoms.
Protection of all our national monuments against the greed of oil and gas concerns
Committed participation in the Paris Accord and ongoing policies and education at home regarding protection against the negative effects of climate change.
Further restrictions against the NRA and its current impact on gun legislation in this country with the goal of protecting our nations’ families against increasing unnecessary deaths.
Reducing the incidences of hate crimes through improved civic leadership (ahem), education, and stricter enforcement of the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act.
Thanks for reading this letter, 45.
Now do the right thing, and give us all the gift of handing the White House back to the white hats again.
Links 4 Further Thought
Learning more about one of these organizations, contributing to one, or commenting with a suggestion or added links would be a great gift for the season. Thanks from Rewriting Paradigms!